Tuesday, December 13, 2005

If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was

Hey, I got that new Wizard too. I realize I'm behind on talking about it, but with the DC solicits out, I think I can examine Wizard's "quiz" a little more accurately.

Before I begin, though, I must note that Wizard has gotten both more expensive and much thinner. With only 15 pages of price guide (each one taken up with a half-page joke or comparison or article), it's as though they've stopped even pretending to be a guidebook. These year-end issues used to be like three times this size. I wonder, who is buying Wizard at this point? Because, if the smaller size and lamer jokes are the magnitude of corners that must be cut to make up for printing costs, then I don't know what the draw is anymore.

It's also nice to see them fellating DC for a change. Not too much Marvel-blowing this issue. Only about half. The fact that they rated Infinite Crisis over House of M seems like a big change from the past. Also, they praise an Image book! Not one of the big two, not a Valiant title, not something by the original Image founders! I was a little shocked.

What's that? Oh, the quiz. Here are the right answers (and by right, I mean not).

Q1. Which heroine will give birth in '06?
A1. Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Catwoman, Oracle

Gonna have to say Catwoman. This would explain why Selina Kyle's no longer going by her own name (perhaps Selina Wayne? No, she probably is using an alias to protect the baby), and why she's not in the leather. I can't imagine Power Girl or Oracle giving birth at this point, and Wonder Woman would need divine intervention for it, since she hasn't had a steady boyfriend in years, and I can't imagine her just getting knocked up.

Q2. Which one of these heroes will be stripped of their powers?
A2. Superman, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Green Lantern

I'd say Superman, given the cover to the title formerly known as Adventures of Superman, but it looks like Supergirl will be losing her powers temporarily too (at least, as long as she and Power Girl are in Kandor). It'd explain the need for a flight ring when she joins the Legion, too.

See, I could see Superman losing his powers for the duration of the one year gap. I can see Supergirl losing her powers in Kandor (despite the fact that Kandor's not a bottle Kryptonian city post-Crisis), but I could see Wonder Woman actually get stripped of her powers by the gods.

Q3. Who will become mayor of their crime-riddled city?
A3. Wally West (Flash), Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Bruce Wayne (Batman), Oliver Queen (Green Arrow)

Apparently, it's Green Arrow, who's gone back to wearing that dumb, pointless hood. As Mia pointed out, it's not like he goes to any length at all to protect his secret identity, why bother?

Q4. Who will have amnesia and be unable to tell friend from foe?
A4. Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, The Atom, Elongated Man

I think I answered this one already.

Q5. Who will take the mantle of the most powerful hero in the DCU?
A5. Booster Gold, Animal Man, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner), Earth-2 Superman

I like Ragnell's point that "mantle" just means "name," and Ion was the most powerful DC hero at one point, so it could be Kyle Rayner without actually changing his costume or getting those god-powers again. I'd like it to be Animal Man, but I don't think Morrison's going to go back to writing a monthly. It's either Kyle, or it's Earth-2 Superman becoming the god/intelligence of the modern DCU.

Q6. Which hero will become a criminal in the eyes of the world?
A6. Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Superman, The Flash, Captain Marvel (come on, Wizard, his name's not Shazam, his title is).

Could be Superman. What if that's why he's "targeted"? Is that why Metropolis is "saying goodbye" to him? But that seems cliché. I think Captain Marvel's the most interesting idea in this one. Maybe his quest to rebuild the Rock of Eternity and find Shazam puts him at odds with the government. Maybe he gets blamed for the destruction in Gotham. Maybe Black Adam's reputation is cleared up through his governing in Khandaq, and Cap's opposition to him paints him as a villain. I think, though, it'd be interesting to see Billy, Mary, and Freddy as fugitives, running from the law and relying on their wits and the wisdom of Solomon to get by. Superpowered teenager runaways? Could be a good series, maybe we could get Brian K. Vaughan to write.

Q7. Which one of these heroes is the only one who'll be around after 'Infinite Crisis'?
A7. Wally West (The Flash), Conner Kent (Superboy), Guy Gardner (Green Lantern), Dick Grayson (Nightwing).

Wally isn't dying. I could see him giving up the costume, but he'll stay alive. Conner, too, might hang up the "S" temporarily, or even take Superman's mantle, but he's not biting the big one. With the high profiles given Dick and Guy lately, I can't imagine either of them getting bumped off. My bet is that they'll all be around, in one form or another. Rumors put Grayson in the batsuit, though the cover art shows what appears to be an older, more putty-faced Batman. I'll hazard a guess and say Guy will be the only one unchanged by IC in this group.

Q8. Which superteam won't survive 'Infinite Crisis'?

To be replaced with either JLI or JLU, more likely the latter, as a recognition that there are no more 'strings' in the DCU.

Q9. Who's about to become the U.S. military's secret weapon?
A9. Cyborg, Wonder Woman, Red Tornado, Green Lantern (John Stewart)

Cyborg looks like he's sticking with the Titans, so that seems unlikely. Wonder Woman might do it as part of a plea bargain, but it seems out of character (unless they're going for the old-school powerless Diana Prince, super-spy stories again). John Stewart's ex-Marines (right?), so he seems a prime choice, but I'd be willing to bet Red Tornado.

Q10. Which villain will destroy an entire country and kill millions in 2006?
A10. Brainiac, Sinestro, Black Adam, Vandal Savage

Looks like it's going to be Vandal Savage, though I could see Sinestro (as head of the Manhunters) or Brainiac (can you say "shrink ray?") too.


Anonymous said...

I was thinking that Wonder Woman would be the one giving birth. A "divine impregnation" a la Greek myth...and voila...a baby.

Tom Foss said...

Yeah, if that's the case, then I can only see "divine insemination" as the source.

Jon said...

What about a suddenly de-Crisis'd Pre-Crisis Steve Trevor? If he popped up out of the ether and Diana suddenly remembered him, I bet they'd knock boots.

I still think it's Catwoman. And that the child will be Helena Wayne. And that Huntress is a-gonna die sooner or later.

Tom Foss said...

Well, there was a Steve Trevor post-Crisis, he's just an old fogey.

Ragnell said...

I'm with Scott. It must be Wonder Woman. Only instead of divine impregnation, it's more a side-effect of the sacred worship of Aphrodite, which Diana has been neglecting post-Crisis.

I mean, come on, DC. You get given beauty and a loving heart by a goddess at your birth you had better be living by her laws or else things will get ugly.