Martian Mind@*%$er

Is anyone reading the new Martian Manhunter series and thinking "yeah, this is exactly what I want from J'onn J'onzz"?

Is anyone reading the new Martian Manhunter series?

Because when I think of Martian Manhunter, I don't think of "moody Skrull-chinned embattled leader of a cabal of fugitive Martians, trying to bridge the gap between two groups of people who distrust him." I don't think "evil government agencies trying to kill and experiment on incredibly powerful aliens for no apparent reason, and honestly thinking they can hide it from one of the three most powerful people on the planet." I don't think "soul patch-wearing tattooed magic-wielder going through Lion-O's Anointment Trials to obtain individual powers from vaguely redefined gods so he can become a superhero whose name is no longer regulated by complicated copyright laws."

...Uh, sorry. Mixed up my terrible 'new direction spinning out of Brave New World' series for a minute there.

I look at this series and I see some of the most hilariously awful costume design since the "pouches, mullets, and asymmetry" days of the '90s. I see yet another confusing rewrite of Martian history. I see a wildly out-of-character J'onn J'onzz. I see artwork which often hinders the story, either through its weirdness, its stiffness, or its decisions to show or not show things which would give some context to the narrative captions. I see inconsistent use of Martian abilities, which have not been defined for new readers, and have not been clarified for old ones. I see superheroes conspiring with a corrupt government agency to take down a friend, which seems to suggest that some lessons went unlearned in the recent Crisis. I see nothing to tell me "hey, you should be buying this. This is the Martian Manhunter you've always wanted to see."

I don't think Martian Manhunter should be brooding, moody, and violent. I don't think he should be universally reviled (what is this, the Marvel universe?), I don't think that someone who loved his family so dearly could honestly say "of all the human emotions I have observed, revenge is the only one not foreign to my people." I don't think this new series is doing anything for J'onn's popularity (certainly not any more than his last series), I don't think this new revamp will stick around much longer than the miniseries, particularly if another writer decides to use him in JLA or another series where he can have a major role. I don't think that another failed miniseries, another failed new direction, another failed reimagining, will do anything but make DC less likely to take a chance on a solo series for J'onn in the future.

You know what I do think? I think it's time for another "My Ideal" post...

Gestalt Theory

Not too long ago I got in a bit of a tiff on someone's blog (Kalinara? Ragnell? Someone I check frequently) with one of the guys from the excellent 4thletter blog, by inadvertently calling Marvel fans immature (long story), and suggesting that DC was generally more literary. At least I wasn't making a joke about the President and the troops (zing!).

Anyway, a question occurred to me the other day: does Marvel have an equivalent of Sandman? How about Alan Moore's Swamp Thing? See, despite the editorial separation of Vertigo and the mainstream DCU, the membrane 'twixt the two is at least semi-permeable. Swamp Thing was instrumental in the death of Zatara, Zatanna dated John Constantine, Martian Manhunter met Morpheus (in the moonlight!) and Dr. Destiny used Dream's crystal as the source of his power, and then there's Animal Man, who jumps back and forth more than almost anyone. Almost, because Phantom Stranger, Deadman, and Etrigan the Demon have a tendency to pop up in both 'universes' almost equally.

So, while the DCU wheeled about and did their things, early Vertigo comics bolstered the mainstream universe by giving it a distinct and deep mythology, developed through some of the best comics ever written.

And, so far as I know, Marvel really doesn't have an equivalent. There are great Marvel stories to be sure--The Death of Captain Marvel, Squadron Supreme, etc--but few are really tied into the fabric of the universe. I can't think of any that have the same scope, the same intent, as the Moore and Gaiman and Morrison work at DC. And maybe this is where I made my blunder...to me, one of the best things about DC is the tapestry, the universe as an entity, with all its history and mythology and epic scope. Marvel's greatest strength, on the other hand, is in great single stories that build on character tapestries. You could cut Spider-Man off from the rest of the superhero community, and you wouldn't lose much (these days, you'd gain quite a bit), because Spider-Man's strength is in his personal history, not in his relationship with the rest of the Marvel universe. The same could be said with any single hero or small team--break the Fantastic Four away from continuity, or the Avengers, or the X-Men, and just tell stories about their characters (and rogues) for a year, and the stories really wouldn't suffer. In DC, characters are defined by their relationships to other superheroes as much as they're defined by their own lives and supporting casts. Imagine a DC without the World's Finest team, or the Trinity, or the Brave and the Bold team, or GL/GA, or GA/Hawkman, or GA/Black Canary. Suddenly, it's a much less interesting universe. Marvel's strength is in the individual; DC's is in the sum of its parts.

A penny for the old guy

Things I learned from comics: Vocabulary

You may or may not know that I'm currently in Grad school, seeking a teaching degree (and it looks like I'll end up certified to teach English, Math, and science (specifically Physics) to any Junior High or High School student around). Well, I recently came across this passage in one of the books for my "Teaching Reading" course:

Hayes and Athens (1988) explain that we encounter more of these rare words [words beyond the 10,000 or so words that adults tend to use in their working vocabulary] in printed text than we do in oral speech. In fact, adults, when talking to other adults, will use about 17 rare words for every 1,000 words. Adults, when talking to a 10 year old child, will only use about 11 rare wortds for every 1,000 words. Television shows offer about 22 rare words per every 1,000. However, a children's book uses 30 rare words for every 1,000; an adult book uses 52 for every 1,000; a comic book (Yes! Archie lives!) uses about 53 rare words for every 1,000; and a scientific paper uses as many as 128 rare words per every 1,000.
--Kylene Beers, When Kids Can't Read: What Teachers Can Do, p. 197.

How about that, comic fans? Ranked just below scientific papers in use of rare words. That's an accomplishment, to be sure. And I doubt that this is counting "incredibly rare words" like "absorbascon" and "materioptikon" and "Khund" and "Cyttorak." You know, the gigantic vocabulary of made-up words that we use in casual conversation. Now, those of you who've been reading comics since childhood will see this passage and say "yeah, I knew that already." That's what I said. Back when I was significantly younger, when I'd actually hear about comic books "rotting my brain," I could point to the words I'd learned on the four-color page as an example of the intellectual value of floppies. Sure, I'd heard Skeletor and Megatron say "annihilate," but it wasn't until I saw it in a comic book that I knew how it was spelled. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I learned the following words from comics, and this is just off the top of my head:

• Megalomaniac
  
• Monomaniac
  
• Lecherous
  
• Corps
  
• Corpse
  
• Quicklime
  
• Quasar
  
• Impervious
  
• Praetor
  
• Rogue
  
• Coriander
  
• Womanizer
  
• Privateer
  
• Legion
  
• Ferro
  
• Spawn
  
• Vermin
  
• Gamma
  
• Irradiated
  
• Arachnid
  
• Temporal
  
• Metropolitan
  
• Darkroom
  
• Chivalry

And on, and on, and on. If I could paw through some of the comics I read as a kid, I could triple that list, perhaps more. Every mad scientist's monologue, every discussion of arcane technology or costume design (where else do you learn something like "epaulet"?), every magical incantation or superpower explanation was o'erteeming with new and unfamiliar words for my spongelike young brain to absorb. Comics helped me become the word nerd I am today. I suspect that it's much the same with most people who read comics in childhood, especially those who continue to do so today.

Et tu? What did you learn from comics?

Friday with Freakazoid!

This may be the beginning of the end for "Fridays with Freakazoid!" since the amount of Freakazoid! videos on YouTube has severely decreased due to copyright violations. I'll keep mining the 'Tube until I can find a decent free video compressor program.

"Happy little narwhal."

The stuff of nightmares...

Okay, I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight. Anyone else see the new Playstation 3 commercial? Holy crap.

You know, I really don't think "creeping the hell out of the consumer" is an effective way to get people to buy your product.

Oh God, it burns, it burns!

The Many Loves of Clark Kent

So, the recent introduction of Clark's latest former girlfriend, Callie Llewellyn, to the Superman mythos got me thinking. For someone who's supposed to be kind of a dork, for someone who's been associated with one (at most, two) woman for the last sixty-plus years, Clark Kent has had a lot of ex-girlfriends show up.
Lana Lang: The first, the girl who didn't get away. Lana's gone through a lot, mostly because no one seems to know what to do with her, and it's only gotten worse recently with her divorce from Pete Ross. I'm glad she's the head of LexCorp, it's a neat idea and a good move for her character, I just wish she wasn't the perpetual tragedy.
Lori Lemaris: Lori was Clark's college girlfriend, who also happened to be a mermaid. Being a telepath, she discovered Clark's secret, and being a nice guy, he kept hers. She disappeared, and was thought dead, but surfaced years later while Clark and Lois were engaged. Her husband, the sorcerer Ronal, went more than a little nutso, and accidentally gave her the "Splash"-inspired ability to develop legs whenever she was dry. She crashed with Lois for awhile in an Odd Couple-esque plotline (current fiancée + oft-naked ex-girlfriend = DRAMA!), then became a museum curator, and disappeared for awhile. Last I saw, she had been in Atlantis when it got sent back in time, and thus had aged 15 years. I think she might have been shown during Spectre's rampage through the undersea kingdom, so her current status is MIA at best.
Simone DeNeige: Clark's post-college French girlfriend, who had a flair for the dramatic and superficial. She got hired by Franklin Stern to pump up the paper's failing circulation, and then ended up being Clark's boss when Lex bought and subsequently closed the Daily Planet. I don't think she's been seen since LexCom faded into obscurity, well before the B13 virus hit.
Wonder Woman: The first of Clark's superheroic romances, he was plagued with erm...'romantic' dreams about the Amazonian warrior, until they worked together, and he planted a wet one on her. They agreed then and there that it wasn't going to work out, and have been good friends ever since. Well, except for that whole "Sacrifice" thing, but that never really led anywhere, as I recall.
Maxima: While their relationship was typically pretty one-sided, Kal-El hooked up with the Almeracian monarch while under the influence of the Eradicator. I seem to recall, however, that she found an excuse to break off the relationship during that storyline.
Ice: Tora had more a crush on Superman than anything else, but there was a sweet relationship between the two, for the brief period that they were both on the League before Superman died.
Obsession: Yeah, she wishes. Next!
Callie Llewellyn: We don't know much about her just yet, other than that she's a brilliant scientist, specializing in unique or alien biology, and that Clark met her while traveling the world. The lingering question of how much she knows about Clark's abilities suggests that she'll be increasing in importance while Busiek's still on the book.

And I think that's all of the post-Crisis romances. Pretty sure, anyway. Clark Kent's more of a lothario then people give him credit for. Gosh, it really seems like I'm forgetting one...but who?

Ah well. Someone'll figure it out.

Happy Day of the Dead!

Here's Oingo Boingo and the late Rodney Dangerfield to help you celebrate All Saints Day!