Saturday, August 13, 2005

Comic Book Urbane Legends Revealed!

COMIC URBANE LEGEND: Freedom Fighter the Human Bomb once consumed a large quantity of Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola, which resulted in terrible indigestion and heartburn.

STATUS: False. It was actually former Teen Titan Damage.

COMIC URBANE LEGEND: So, a young Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson were making out up at make-out point in Manhattan's make-out district, when an emergency bulletin comes on the radio, warning of a psychotic hook-handed killer who was on the loose. Frightened by the news, Mary Jane told Peter to drive home, and along the way they heard a strange scraping sound on the driver's side of the car. They returned to MJ's house without incident, and Peter decided he should get those pebbles cleaned out of the wheel well. Cursed with a terrible case of blue balls, he drove back to his aunt's house, lamenting the ill-timed coitus interruptus news report.

STATUS: False. Peter never owned a decent car, there's no make-out district of Manhattan (make-out point is in the Bronx), MJ lived next door to Aunt May, so he wouldn't have driven home, and a poor geek like Peter, no matter what spandex he wears, would never get play with the hottest redhead this side of Jean Grey.

COMIC URBANE LEGEND: A friend of a friend of a former Robin once told me that Batman was driving the Batmobile through Gotham City, when he passed a car without its lights on. He flashed the Batmobile's headlights at the car, and it turns out that the driver was absentminded and had just forgotten to turn the knob, since he was used to driving cars with automatic headlights. Having been made aware of this mistake, he turned the lights on and drove safely home.


The driver, as it turns out, was actually famed actor Mel Gibson. And now you know...the rest of the story.

Good day!


JM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JM said...

Turns out that Wayne Enterprises needs to stay ahead of Lex Luthor's new web browser so Bruce Wayne will send you $1,000 for ever friend you forward this e-mail to! My friend tried it and he totally got an iPod!